What! Lol that was the boyfriend of the girl next to me. He’s like staring off into space XD

ciphero asked: I don't feel like in a perfectly safe setting there's anything "strange" about complimenting someone, unless it's like EY BAY BAY. And I don't think compliments are what makes a person aware of their looks in a negative way, everyone is being judged on looks regardless. If a woman is confident enough to not need compliments i think she would be compliments or not? I just don't think the points of cause and effect line up that way. And I really don't think compliments are the problem.

You say that everyone is being judged on their looks regardless, but that is exactly the problem and exactly what this is continuing. I can be feeling actually okay about my face without makeup, then confidently go out in public only to feel hideous when reminded by all the images and made-up girls around me. It really just takes a reminder like that. The more someone compliments how cute I am on days I do wear makeup, the more crappy I feel about my natural looks and spend lots of time and money doing my makeup (or, if I don’t have time to do it, just feel shitty and hideous all day long). You yourself said that I look good without makeup, and lots of other people say that too, but that’s not what society tells me. And if even I don’t feel confident about my natural beauty, what about the girls who don’t meet today’s standard of beauty? I’m sorry, but what you think girls should feel about the messages they are sent from birth doesn’t matter because you are not a girl. Yes, society prefers good-looking men over not-so-good-looking ones, but men can be validated through every other means. Their character, smarts, charisma, humor, position, talent, etc, are not completely made irrelevant if they are not a “ten.” They can count on getting hired if they are not really good-looking. They don’t have to worry about “Will I be valued today for my good looks, or will people think I’m a brainless binbo for them?”

And in public or at home, there are no “perfectly safe settings” for women. We ALWAYS have to be on guard. If a man is being even cordial with me, I always have to be evaluating in the back of my mind “What does he want from me? What is safe information to give out? What if he learns something about me from this casual conversations and finds me or stalks me?” We have to be affable but keep our distance. We can’t seem like a bitch, but we can’t be too friendly either.

At any rate, the person who originally posted about this had many many asks sent to them from women who do feel that way about compliments, and from some who have even been stalked by people who have given them compliments. No one is saying that compliments aren’t well-intended, but they not only reminds us we are being judged for our looks but also can make us put our guard up even more than usual, sounds warning bells in our heads, and makes us have to perform (if we do not smile pleasantly in return, who knows what could happen?).

ciphero asked: Karaaa you really agree that women should not be complimented by strangers??

I think that it is important to be aware that not every compliment can be taken as such. That women are always on the alert, gauging strange men’s actions and determining whether we are safe or not. Another point they are making is that when you compliment a woman on her appearance, it is reminding her that she is to be judged by her looks. One commenter said “you wouldn’t go up to man and say, ‘you’re so handsome’ in the way that men are always going up to women to tell them they are beautiful, because men are to be judged by their character.” But a woman’s whole worth is her looks (along with her virginity). Complimenting her, though well-intended, merely reinforces that. If people would stop “complimenting” women, they would be able to forget that they are constantly being judged by their looks, and would therefor stop “needing” to be complimented to feel secure/confident that she is a beautiful, worthy member of society. They are not saying you cannot compliment a women’s outfit or something like that, though. That is something she can control and probably spent time on and would want to be complimented on! But complimenting a woman on what she was born with is the problem… Does that make sense?

Rule 1 - Post the rules. 

Rule 2 - Answer the questions the tagger set for you in their post and then make 11 new ones. 
Rule 3 - Tag 11 people and link them to your post. 
Rule 4 - Let them know you’ve tagged them.

1) what is the oldest fandom that you are in?

LOTR haha

2) if you are stuck in a game of survival what is your weapon of choice?

Bow and Arrow, maybe? Idk I’ve always felt drawn to that weapon…  

3) fondest childhood memories?

Playing with my best friend Johnathan before he moved away :<

4) is there any fictional characters you think you could relate with?

Hmm off the top of my head: Katniss (THG), Yuuki (Vampire Knight)… I guess those two kind of represent the two sides to me… Maybe throw in someone a bit girly and fashionable, as well haha.

5) any food that you dislike?

I prefer “fresh,” natural foods that don’t have too many spices and salt. Salty things like chips and crackers are my least favorite, but I’ll get a craving for them occasionally.

6) is there any fictional world you would like to travel?

I will always believe that Middle Earth is the most gorgeous place with the most fascinating cultures!

7) if you are an idol, what sort of idol are you?

Genki type? Lol Idk much about idols… I guess I’d be genki with a hint of cuteness… But I’d definitely want to share my ideas with my fans about making the world a better place and such.

8) what is your ideal saturday night?

Stereotypical, but I really do have fun drinking and dancing to good music!

9) do you have any food that makes you can’t stop eating or snacking?

PASTA. Even though it’s so many calories, I just can’t stop! I usually have such a small stomach, but when it comes to pasta, I’ll eat like 4 times my usual meal and still want more!

10) what would you do if the fate of the world relies on you?

Well, people had better start listening to what I say, then!! Lol I always know best when it comes to improving the world XD

11) recommend music, movie or a book to your tumblr friends!

Music : Lately I’ve been listening to Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros, and my favorite band of all time is The Pillows.

Movie: One of the best movies of all time: The Girl Who Leapt Through Time. My favorite quotable/funny movie: Blades of Glory. As for old movies: anything by Akira Kurosawa.

Book: Fiction: Snow Flower and the Secret Fan by Lisa See. Non-fiction: The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin.

New Questions:

1) What is something that can always brighten your day?

2) Favorite scent?

3) Something new you’ve learned recently?

4) First screen name?

5) Something you could never give up? (i.e. for me, one of the hardest things about moving out of the country would be giving up Mexican food!!)

6) Favorite place to shop? (Can be online or irl)

7) Which do you prefer: early morning or late night?

8) Favorite season?

9) If you could move to any big city in the world, which would you choose?

10) What sound is like nails on a chalkboard to you?

11) What would you like your daily life to look like in 10 years?

I’m tagging more than 11 because fuck the police:

conquistawhore, doubleadrivel, quilted-dreams, ciphero, beckefunsized, eliseandoctopi,  limitbreakingcat, christinetofu, happiimilk, projectdoll, sherridea, 900yearsoftimeandspace, lostomnibus, bloodmuffin, kishona, mmartist91, militaryflowers 

ciphero replied to your post: Yayyy so many friends lately!

yay!

We need to hang out too!!!! 

ciphero replied to your post: I’m seriously freaking out right now, you guys.

try beemp3.com

Thanks! I’ll try it! ;-;

ciphero asked: You're a wonderfully sweet girl and I hope we'll always be friends! I really enjoy when you text me out of the blue. It makes me happy, and I wish that I was better at doing that.

Awww thank you so much, Lawrence!!! We need to hang out!! I still haven’t planned my late birthday party… It’ll be soon lmao

ciphero asked: Actually, that was me, because your blog has become too mainstream at 300 followers. But I can follow you back now that its become non-mainstream since it's under 300 followers. WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO. That is what i would say if i was a hipster and it was not actually me.

LOL OKAY LAWRENCE. I’ll just have to unfollow you now since you aren’t hipster enough lmao

ciphero replied to your post: Welcome to all my new followers!

Dang gurl, you have a lot of followers.

LOL thanks, Lawrence. But actually someone just unfollowed me! Rude! hahaha

ciphero replied to your post: I NOW OFFICIALLY OWN MY VERY FIRST BRAND!!!

You can come to the body shop and I can do your makeup for you :P

hahaha watch out, Lawrence! I just might take you up on that!